TechEd 2007: Muglia Saves Humanity From Horrible Alternate Future

By Scott M. Fulton, III | Published June 4, 2007, 2:27 PM

ORLANDO - In a very memorable effort to erase executive vice president Bob Muglia's reputation for overstating the "Microsoft Vision," while introducing a much-needed element of self-deprecating humor to the proceedings, the company's senior vice president starred with the legendary Christopher Lloyd in a "Back to the Future" video where he was given an opportunity to go back in time two years and undo the mistakes of his prior keynotes.

As our video begins, it is 2005. Bob Muglia exits the stage at TechEd 2005, his blue denim shirt drenched with the debris of numerous tomatoes, lettuce, and other valuable organic waste products, after what appears to have been a disastrous reception at the main keynote. Pleading with "Doc" for an explanation, Muglia asks him, what could possibly have gone wrong? "I was just showing them Microsoft's Vision of the Future."

"Some of these guys have had Microsoft's vision up the wazoo," Lloyd responded, in perhaps his best-delivered line since threatening John Larroquette in "Star Trek III" to aim only at the engines.

Doc shows Bob the past he failed to change...2001, and the Microsoft Vision fails to reform the offices. In order to drive home the importance of saving the world from too much Microsoft Vision, Doc sent Muglia into a Microsoft-generated alternate future, circa about 2012, where humanity had been assimilated by what could best be described as "The Wrath of Bob" (not Bob Muglia, the other "Bob") accompanied by his evil sidekick, Clippy.

The Alternate Future in 2012, where humanity is governed by "Bob" (not Muglia) and his trusty sidekick, Clippy. "It looks like you're trying to scream," chirped Clippy as he noticed Muglia emerging from the DeLorean. "Would you like me to help you?"

A successful re-entry into the present for Bob Muglia and Co., where humanity is saved! The video preceded Muglia's and Lloyd's entrance on stage in the authentic DeLorean, where Lloyd as "Doc" deputized himself to serve as Muglia's personal "MS-BS Detector," lest he infuse the present timeline with enough MS-BS to disrupt the present timeline. He'd seen the alternate future...and that should have been warning enough.

Bob Muglia and his new deputy From there, Muglia started outlining something Microsoft is calling its "Dynamic Systems Initiative," though by the 18-minute mark, the definition of this concept (which Muglia refers to as an "optimization model...where software and services can come together to help improve the business of your organization") appears to be a "vision" only with a promise not to use the word "Vision" in explaining it.

Guest speaker Tom Bittman of Gartner then showered the crowd with aphorisms such as "Agility requires us to take technology and apply it to itself." (Talk about a reflexive loop.)

"Doc" had promised to blow a horn whenever there was too much "MS-BS." Many in the press line were thinking perhaps "Doc" took an unscheduled trip back to 1896. Granted, perhaps the horn doesn't apply to Gartner, but there is a packed house full of a few thousand developers, few of whom appear to like to be lectured to...especially to be told what "it's all about," what to focus on, and how to find "a different way of maturing."

But it was indeed a "keynote" speech, and the note the video and Lloyd's welcome appearance sounded was of a corporation that maybe, just maybe, if it hasn't completely "gotten it" just yet, may at least have realized that the time to start trying has already past.

View comments by with a score of at least

Report: Microsoft to randomize Europe's browser screen choices

The fact that "A" is for "Apple" was apparently at the heart of browser vendor objections to Microsoft's alternative to listing IE first.

Acer eclipses Dell for #2 spot in global PC shipments, says iSuppli data

It literally does look like a 360-degree turnaround in Dell's fortunes, as the bells of bad tidings now toll solely for Dell.

Microsoft, don't hang up on Windows Mobile, but do call for help

Only a Manhattan Project can save Microsoft's phone strategy now.

See ya later, WinMo: Microsoft's mobile strategy needs a reboot

Carmi Levy | Wide Angle Zoom: Hands up if you're considering upgrading to a Windows phone for the holidays...Anybody?

Playing catch-up in 2010: Windows Mobile, BlackBerry, and Symbian

Microsoft, RIM, and Nokia are each working on improved mobile operating systems. But could these efforts add up to too little, too late?

Will Nokia's plans further alienate American consumers?

A look at Nokia's plans for the coming years does little to shine up the company's increasingly dull image.

Bing bonked by service outage Thursday, Microsoft configured the wrong server

It's always nice to have a backup, but it's even nicer to remember which one is the backup. That's the lesson Bing's admins learned yesterday evening.

Survey reveals there are more women then men, including on social networks

If you think you can market your products and services online as though you're selling car batteries in the middle of halftime, think again. And again.

Android team updates 'Donut' and 'Eclair' SDKs

The Android SDK includes components which optimize app development for each version of the mobile operating system. Today, the 1.6 and 2.0 components got updates.

The Black Screen Syndrome, or, Tech news in search of the apocalypse

Scott Fulton On Point: This is a story about something that should not have been a story, about something that at one time was a story.

Online advertising evolves away from display, toward interactive software

Marketing departments and agencies are increasingly establishing positions for "creative technologists" who can steer designers and developers toward platforms that enable direct connections with consumers.